Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
