ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
