my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
