I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Drake has all the answers
Pants are for mortals
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
