We named our party play list daddy issues
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
