she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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