yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
