I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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