More tranny stories later!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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