I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
