There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
