I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
