My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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