I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
