Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize