did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
