i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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