I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
