i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
