similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
