i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I am morally bankrupt
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
