it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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