I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
