so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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