i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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