Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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