Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
