Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
