He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
