ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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