It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
