Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
