I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
