whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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