Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
