Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
