It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
