You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
