Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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