What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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