he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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