Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
