I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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