Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
