If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I need water and some morals
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
