Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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