New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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