i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
