I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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