No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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