I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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