Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
