Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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