butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
