my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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