I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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