I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
