This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
