i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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