MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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