and she was petting her beer can
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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